a a a
staff-bios faq
To read more of their stories...click here!


Listen to experts The Official Parent's Handbook Order a copy

In her book The Official Parents Handbook: Spare the rule spoil the child, Dr. Bria McDonald writes "Today, a child is more likely to resort to violence than ever before. The extreme mood swings from happy to rage suggest that today’s child has a lack of self-regulating coping strategies. The child typically learns how to respond to negative stimuli by watching his/her parents, guardians, siblings, peers, counselors, community organizations, or the media. Perhaps you remember times when your childhood friends coached you, inappropriately, how to respond to difficult situations. I am certain you recall a similar exchange of ideas, “If that happened to me, I wouldn’t stand for it! I would...” Unfortunately, with undeveloped social skills, your friends often promoted dysfunctional behaviors to resolve your issues. Thus, parents and all of us are encouraged to proactively coach our children, instead of leaving it to peer pressure. It is the parents and all of our responsibility to teach our children to use self-control statements to empower the children to cope with seemingly difficult situations. Listed below are some self-statements that can be used by a child to manage arousal, anger or altercations. It is advised to help the child by selecting five to ten statements for the child to memorize. Then adults are encouraged to instruct and model for the child how to use these statements to cope with discomfort, anger, provocation and confrontation."

Experts speak


Anger means it’s time to relax and cope.

As long as I keep cool, I’m in control.

Don’t make more out of this than you have to.

Easy does it. Remember to keep your sense of humor.

Easy does it…there is nothing to be gained by getting upset.

Example: “I feel angry when you call me a bad name, and I don’t want you to do it anymore.”

For someone to be that irritable, he must be awfully unhappy.

Getting angry won’t solve the problem.

Getting upset won’t help.

I can cope with this situation, even though I don’t like it.

I can manage the situation. I know how to regulate my anger.

I can manage this; I’m in control.

I can stay calm and relaxed.

I can’t change them with my anger; I’ll just upset myself.

I can’t expect people to act the way I want them to.

I can’t find a way to say what I want to without anger.

I don’t have to take this so seriously.

I have a plan to relax and cope.

I have a right to be annoyed, but let’s keep the lid on.

I’ll focus on the facts and stay rational.

I’ll let him make a fool of himself.

I’m not going to get pushed around, but I’m not going haywire either.

I’m not going to let them get to me.

If I find myself getting upset, I’ll know what to do.

If I start to get mad, I’ll just be banging my head against the wall.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll count to 10 and then choose my words carefully.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll find someone to talk to about my angry feelings.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll keep my temper and think of something that could have prevented the situation.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll tell myself that reacting in anger won’t help the situation.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll tell the person what is bothering me.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll think of my own solution.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll use an “I” statement.

Instead of getting angry, I’ll accept that sometimes things just go wrong.

It’s just not worth it to get so angry.

It’s really a shame that she/he has to act like this.

Just as long as I keep my cool, I am in control.

Just roll with the punches: don’t get bent out of shape.

Keep an open mind. Make no judgments.

Keep cool; take it easy.

Let’s take the issue point by point.

Let’s try a cooperative approach. Maybe we are both right.

Look for the positive. Don’t assume the worst and jump to conclusions.

Maybe they want me to get angry. I’m going to disappoint them.

My anger is a signal of what I need to do. Time to instruct myself.

My muscles are starting to feel tight. Time to relax and slow things down.

Negatives lead to more negatives. Work constructively.

No matter what is said, I know I am a good person.

Remember, stick to the issues and don’t take it personally.

So, I might as well just relax. There is no need to doubt myself.

Stay calm. Just continue to relax.

Stay calm…no sarcasm, no attacks.

Take a deep breath and relax

Their opinion isn’t important. I won’t be pushed into losing my cool.

There is no point in getting mad.

There won’t be any need for an argument.

Think of what you want to get out of this.

This could be a testy situation, but I believe in myself.

This is funny if you look at it that way.

This is going to upset me, but I know how to deal with it.

Time for a few deep breaths of relaxation, feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease.

Time to take a deep breath.

Try to reason it out. Treat each other with respect.

What he says doesn’t matter. I’m on top of this situation, and it’s under control.

What is it that I have to do?

You don’t need to prove yourself.


All contributions are tax deductible. It is our goal to provide all our products, free of charge, to any parent or young person, as well as schools and programs.

YouthHealth USA Inc.
20928 N. John Wayne Pkwy C-13/151
Maricopa, AZ 85239


Positive Word Zone

W elcome to the Positive Word Zone (PWORDZ). Imagine, if you will, a zone within your school, office, or community where everyone has agreed to only use words that are uplifting and motivating. A proclaimed space where anyone can go to be encouraged and/or affirmed. Sounds nice, doesn't it? Why don't these zones exist today? Simply because you and I have not popularized the idea. But, that can change at any time. When we agree to communicate and implement the PWORDZ philosophy, the change will happen. It is just that simple!

Join us as we create a positive, fundamental change in the lives of others. We are on a mission to uplift the spirit of people everywhere!

Here's how it works. Simply download PWORDZ posters, flyers or postcards from our website. Then, host a kick-of event where you popularize the idea and the guidelines of the positive word zones. Hang the posters or flyers in the ZONES identified to be PWORDZ. Then continue to provide support and guidelines to make positive word zones a reality in your school, ofice, or community. We have many tools available to assist you with popularizing PWORDZ. Visit this site often, as we will share new materials and stories that support PWORDZ!

We all need words of Encouragement. It is like food for the soul!  The more an individual receives, the better she/he feels about him/herself.

Dr. Bria McDonald, author of The Officail Parent's Handbook shares, "Encouragement is like food for the soul!  The more an individual receives the better she/he feels about him/herself. Young people, especially, often use positive, realistic praise as a “character” yardstick. The greater the praises, the more confident the young person becomes in his/her decision-making ability.  It is important to be creative in expressing approval because many of us have short attention spans. When the same praise is given too often, it is no longer effective. Ask yourself, how effective is the comment “Good job!” after eighteen years of hearing it? Surely, you will agree, if used as the primary tool for praise, it will lose its impact over time.  So be innovative with your verbal encouragement! Whether working in school, at home or in the office, everyone will benefit from your ability to be imaginative."

Try using the following uplifting statements in your Positive Word Zones!


    Angela is paying attention.








    Everyone's working so hard. Exactly right.

    Excellent work.



    Far out.

    For sure.

    Give me five!

    Good cooperation.

    Good going!

    Good job.

    Good thinking.

    Good work.

    Great job!



    Hamburger, fries and a shake!

    Group Hug!

    Hot dog!

    Hang ten!

    I appreciate your help.

    I am proud of the job you did.

    I can see you enjoy learning.

    I like the raised hands.

    I like the way John is working.

    I like the way you're working.

    I like your enthusiasm.

    I like cleaned desks.

    I'll take that.

    I'm proud of you.

    I'm touched.

    I'm very proud of the hard work.



    It looks like you did a lot of work.

    It's a pleasure to see you work.

    It's a pleasure to be with you.

    You are waiting quietly.

    You got right down to work.

    You have it.

    You are right on target.

    Kawabanga dudes!

    Keep it up.

    Keep up the good work.



    Much better.

    My goodness, how impressive!

    Nice going.

    Nice job.

    Nice work.

    Now that's creative!

    Now you've figured it out.

    Now you've got it!

    Now you've got the hang of it.

    Out of sight. Outrageous!


    Right on!

    Shake hands!


    You are really going to town.

    Smile! Super.

    Superior work.


    Thank you, good choice.

    Thank you for waiting your turn.

    Thank you very much.

    Thank you.

    That’s one way of looking at it.

    It's going to be great!

    That was fun.

    That's "Top-Quality" work.

    That's a commendable job.

    That's a good point.

    A very good observation.

    An interesting point of view.

    That's interesting.

    That's clever.

    That's coming along nicely.

    That's great That's hip!

    That's nice.

    That's quite an improvement.

    That's really nice.

    That's right!

    Good for you.

    That's so funny!

    Ha Ha Ha!

    That's the right answer.

    That's thoughtful of you.

    This kind of work pleases me.

    Very creative.

    Very good.

    Very interesting.

    Very much improved.

    What neat work.


    Wonderful. Wow!

    You are very precious!

    You can do it!

    You have a lot of talent.

    You make it look easy.

    You really outdid yourself today.

    You were very courageous.

    You're good at this.

    You're great!

    You're on the right track now.

    You're the best!

    You've got it now.




Our Goals, Organization & Policy

Message from the Executive Secretary | The USA: A Prosperous & Confident Nation | Our Charter
Our Goals, Strategies and Objectives | Our Organization | Policy and Administration
Frequently Asked Questions | Volunteer To Help | Sponsors | Staff Biographies | Links | Resources

What Are We Doing For Young Americans?

What Are We Doing For Young Americans? | Our Goal: Healthy Young People | Principles of Implementation
A Word From Ron Phillips | Therapeutic Storytelling Intervention – What Is It? | How Does It Help So Many People?
Professional Applications Of TSI | Research | Letter From Campbell Lodge | Review By George W. Hynd
TSI Testimonials | Training and the 'TSI System' | Resources | http://www.healtheefoundation.com | Site Map